The start of our journey...

Our journey into the military started nearly a year ago when my husband came to me with a desperate look in his eye.  I had seen this desperation before on several occasions. Each time having the same sinking feeling that at some point in our lives we where supposed to take a different path.  Since my Husband and I married nearly six years prior we filled our lives with school, work, serving in the church and being the best parents we knew how to be to two small children.  My husband completed school and starting working in his career field as a graphic designer.  That's when I could clearly tell the look had gotten worse.  In passing on several occasions throughout our time together he'd also mention how wonderfully fulfilling serving our country would be. This was mainly discussed around September 11th as I'm sure many men do.  Finally last year I had, had enough of the "maybes" and in the hope that he'd be told he was too old he was after all 26. I assumed the recruiter in his/her wisdom would dismiss him and send him home to his wife. That was not the case.  The first thing he was told was to bring his wife in.  The recruiter had enough respect for me to make sure he brought me in as soon as possible to continue the discussion.  I was very grateful for that man.  He was the reason I decided to get down on my knees and pray about it.  I remember the feeling of reluctance in my heart that day.  As if I had already known as long as forever that this was indeed the path our Heavenly Father needed us to take.  This is what he had always had in mind for us.  The confirmation came as quickly as the first time I prayed to know the truth about the gospel at the age of eighteen.  I felt the Lord circle his arms around me and strengthen me that night.  He helped me to understand that indeed serving him and our country was going to be challenging and at times down right heart breaking.  Since then my husband has joined the Army through the National Guard.  We were blessed to have made our decision at the exact time they released the "active first" program which was the key to enabling my husband to do what he is trying to do at Ft. Bragg. 

My husband joined in November of last year and started boot camp in March.  At that time I was left with two toddles and all the decision making I needed the Lord more than ever.  I prayed and fasted to know where I needed to take my young family.  If I needed to stay in Utah keeping our own apartment or except one of the several generous offers from family to come and stay with them during the duration of my husbands training.  We knew at that time he'd be gone for over six months and the decisions which I was not use to making without my husband the choice was left between Heavenly Father and myself.  My heart ached when the decision was made.  My parents are not members and our history was rocky.  I knew having my family there would be difficult for all but I knew that it had to be done.  I promptly moved my family in and spent several wonderful/challenging/heart breaking months with them.  My children will forever have great memories of their time spent with their Nana and Opa in California.  We were also blessed to meet the most amazing families in our home ward.  I received a calling to primary and the weekly play group/support group helped us thrive.  I had never experienced a separation/deployment before so I was unsure when the inevitable melt down would occur.  So, I would tread lightly and I'd make sure to never forget to add myself in my prayers.  To pray that I could continue to be a good mother and friend and that I could somehow try to fill the void left by my husbands absence.  We all struggled at times but the more we prayed together the more we stayed together, helping to lift each other and comfort each other.  

Here we are six months to eight months later still trying to finish the first stages of our entry into the army.  We're stronger than we've ever been as a family and personally.  My husband no longer looks as if he's "going through the motions of life".  He's feeling accomplished and fulfilled in his life.  Our children feel safe, secure, and stable.  The relationship between my daughter and I  has never been more open and happily in tune. We look back and count ourselves blessed at the amazing things that have come to pass over the past year.  

I often remember that not everyone understands what it's like to be an Army wife.  That's why in these times there are so few of us. We might not always have the support and understanding that we crave from our family and friends who aren't "Living in our shoes" but it is such a blessing and comfort to know that Heavenly Father is always waiting there for us to come to him so that he may lighten our burden.  I can't thank him enough for all that we've been blessed with and all that we continue to be blessed with in this new life.  I'm grateful for the love and continued support he gives to me personally as well as to my family.  I love him and will continue to serve him till his return.   I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ amen.